My Super Sweet 16 Infuriates me

I'm 19 years old going on 20.

I should invite the Super Sweet 16 crew to film my party and what not. Here's how it would go:

-I wouldn't have a party planner
-My outfit would cost a grand total of 100 pounds (Jumper from Hobos, Primark tee (3 pack for 2 quid), Topman jeans and Base shoes)
-I would set up a facebook event (you can film me clicking people to invite)
-You can see me not giving a shit if people have said no.
-You can see me deliberate over the venue (The Union or Oceana)
-Me ringing them to ask if they are open and happy for me to come (I AM A VIP)
-Me doing my big performace (ranging from the Turk dance to showing my pants)
-Possible disaster of vomitous or argument.
-Everyone leaving to my big present of a car (a black Hackey Cab)
-Buffet of cheese, chips and gravy

Sounds fucking beautiful.

But really, its like fucking yes, there are rich people out there who hire out posh nightclubs, decorate them to their standards and get given a car and a trip to New York at the end of it. But 90% of 16-20 year olds who would like a party like this, wouldn't be able to afford it.

I watch it and feel sick at some of the conceited people on there. Andre Spence I am looking at you. He epitomised the type of people who shouldn't be allowed to spend money. I think it was his 18th birthday and he hired out a nightclub. Bitched that it wasn't ready and then patronised the guy trying to kit it out for him. Then badgered his mum saying "what's my birthday present?" and generally being a spoilt little cunt.

It's so annoying to watch. That's my hopes for my party up there. I'll get drunk and go to a club, go get chips and go home with Hannah. And that's fucking perfect for me. These people get pissy because they don't get a huge performer or if they don't get a fucking fantastic present like an elephant or a diamond encrusted shitter, thet say there birthday is ruined.

Fuck off.

This country has gone to the fake dogs.

Two nights ago, I witnessed two hours of car crash telly. One hour based on 64 stone, super-morbidly obease (sounds like a super hero) Renee going to have gastric surgery to save her life. The second hour about reborns which are fake babies.

The first hour was hard to call. Renee was clearly struggling with weight problems from her genes but then there was a story of her hiding food and just eating everything. You felt sorry for her kids seeing there mum like this and you felt sorry for her as she clearly was depressed. But it was hard to feel massively sorry for her if she was just over eating.

The second hour had me flabergasted and unsure whether to laugh or cry. It started with the maker of reborns going into Tescos and, fucking hilariously, asking people if they wanted to buy a baby. Oh what a wit. She was selling dolls. Dolls so realistic, it was like something out of twilight zone. Reborns are based at people who are sad when there kids grow up. Is that morbid? Or is it just me? These parents, mothers, loons and mental-cases buy these reborns to replace the fact there kids aren't one anymore. That's fucked up. "Sorry John, now that you're two I don't care for you so I shall buy a fake baby to replace you". Thats beyond insane. I thought having a kid was an emotional journey from seeing them born to sending them away to University and then seeing them marry. Not getting bored of them and replacing them with a bonafide doll.

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. One woman in particular had 5 of these dolls and was off to America to collect "an open-eyed smiler" as a new dolll (Which, in a brilliant twist, cracked on the way to her hotel. She found out just after she began to love her). She was a doting mother, taking her "babies" out for walks and putting them in car-chairs for car journeys. She was sad. Her and husband didn't want real kids as "she was too fussy. If she could pick one off the shelves, then great". Thank God she doesn't have kids then, silly bint. Her husband looked bemused as at times, she corrected him for referring to them as dolls not babies. She then went to Harrods and bought a 300 quid outfit for her new doll. ON A FUCKING DOLL! What is wrong with her? Her look in her eyes when dressing them was one of love and you think, jeez, something is truly missing in her life when she dotes on these dolls like a real child. But then, that being the case, would you trust her with a real child? She treats a doll like a real baby, and taking into account previous statements, would she treat a baby like a doll?

Then there was the sad case of Christine (I think that was her name). She had a grandson named Harry who had moved to New Zealand with his parents. Christine had looked after Harry for long periods due to his mothers illness. But now he was gone and she was lonely. She heard of the reborns and decided to get one moulded in the style of new born Harry.

Being a noob to the doll scene, she visited a woman who, quite possibly, had 43453 of these dolls, one in the style of the smallest-size a new born could survive at. Truly hideous. I felt sick and violated. Her husband summed it up in one phrase. Sad. And it really was. Christine stated that having a pram and a baby in it made her someone. It's truly saddening to think, this Parent, Wife and grandmother felt so low and even unaccomplished that she had to buy a baby to justify her existence.

It was hideous telly too watch. Her husband didn't like Harry mark 2. And it was clear to see why. It was just vile. Seeing these women parading these dolls as if they were real. Giving them back-stories, spending ridiculous money on them and then acting offended that people are freaked by them. It could have been America, it should've been America. But this freak show is British. The woman who creates them (they are oven cooked funnily) said she has cried when giving some away. Thats beyond insane. It's just wrong.